Monday, March 9, 2015

General Disaster and Captain Calamity

Nugget was at the groomers and missed the walk.
Blog 5 is overdue, and I deliver it to you with great pain, my friends. I have suffered for this entry, as so many writers have suffered for their craft. Some bleed for their art. Some starve. Some die with words still unwritten.

My special brand of masochism involved taking my children with me today. And it was every bit the disaster you'd imagine. They're on spring break and mercifully go back to school tomorrow. I was able to get them out of bed and on the road before 10am. Ben assigned himself the job of monitoring my speed on the interstate; Andy designated himself the head of the Smug Police, and issued a verbal warning to any backseat drivers who seemed to big for their britches. They corrected each other's grammar and criticized each other's vocabulary. Andy befouled the car several times and claimed the stink with the pride of an 8-year-old.


When we got off the interstate we drove along the country roads in the bright sun and Ben said, almost nonchalantly, "I see a wolf, Mommy." I asked him if he was serious, and then his brother chimed in and said he'd seen a wolf, too, naturally. If they actually saw anything, it was either a red fox or a coyote, so I turned the car around and rumbled along the berm peering into the woods while they argued over whether foxes fart and who saw it first. I saw nothing. Andy stuck to his story but Ben finally conceded that it might just have been a bush.

Tracks
And so it went. When we arrived at the cabin there was still plenty of snow, but it was hard, crusty, and held the weight of the kids, whereas I punched through. It would have been a great snowshoe day. There were tracks by the cabin and I've not yet decided what they are. I tried so hard to show the boys and have them guess what might have left the snow prints, but Maya pooped on the driveway and Ben was staring at the pile, gagging and wretching, unable to look away.

The ice was still there. This weekend was the first weather above freezing in two months. For over eight weeks the ice has lingered. It's given me an amazing study, watching it change every other week, seeing the many forms it can take and the many, many moods. The Conservancy has closed the spillway and the lake is beginning to rise. Signs of spring! In the photos it's obvious where the rising water has seeped out from under the thick, opaque ice and has frozen along the shoreline, but this ice is frail. Off the end of the dock I was able to stand on it, and I suspect it will take all of 10 days for it to disappear.


The lake is rising
Before we could begin a hike Ben's boot fell apart, necessitating my return to the cabin for duct tape. Andy assured me he would keep Ben from the ice while I ran up. When I returned, Andy was standing on the ice. "Don't put your feet it, kids," I said. "You'll get your legs wet." Ben decided to crawl onto the ice on his hands and knees. I heard him make a noise and turned to find him wallowing in the freezing water like a puffy little seal.

My little blonde burden
His feet were soaked, his pants were soggy. The sun was in his eyes. There was no hike to be taken today. Instead, I let them loose on the empty playground at the church camp nearby and lay on a wooden bench in the bright sun, trying to soak up a little silence. A woodpecker was in the woods, somewhere above our heads, and though it took 17 attempts, I was able to shush them long enough for them to hear the sound of the pecking. Then Ben fell off a tire swing and sobbed, and it was over. His foot hurt, his body was wet, and he was too tired to get his tiny little body down the hill and back up the next hill to the cabin. Guess who did the schlepping?


I tried to give the kids a nature walk. I silently told myself that they were not willing to receive the experience today. But then I realized they were having their own experience. They are little children; they don't see the moods of the ice. They don't relish stillness, and the sound of a woodpecker is but an interesting tidbit on the way to the next mudhole. They aren't capable of seeing what I see, and there's nothing wrong with that. When I was 8 I probably enjoyed tossing rocks and tire swings more than I did traipsing through crusty snow that came up to my shins. That was where I started, and now I'm a grown adult who put those fun little moments in nature together to form a greater appreciation and desire for nature. Whether I put them in "real" nature or "artificial" nature, I cannot manufacture experiences for them. Nor would I want to. Today I let them play, and I let them take some risks. I didn't ask anything of them but to walk with me and listen for birds. I may not know for 30 years what these experiences mean to them, but hope they will be worthwhile.

As for me, I did not get my dose of Piedmont Peace. But I saw another perspective, got a stern reminder that my eyes are by no means the only eyes. Take whatever experience you like from nature; it's all good.



Guerilla parenting


Here you can see how far up the lake has risen since
they closed the spillway.


He decided this was as far as he was willing to go.


The church campers will appreciate that, Andy.


Those two dark blobs in the snow are
my children, 


3 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed this post, Laura. It was interesting to see how different your experience with the lake was when you had your boys along with you. I couldn't agree more that our interactions and experiences with nature change as we grow up and I love the way you describe it:

    "But then I realized they were having their own experience. They are little children; they don't see the moods of the ice. They don't relish stillness, and the sound of a woodpecker is but an interesting tidbit on the way to the next mudhole."

    I also really enjoyed your pictures and video...looks like you've got your hands full with those two :)

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  2. "I may not know for 30 years what these experiences mean to them, but hope they will be worthwhile." This is a lovely and heartwrenching sentiment. It's like planting a tree. You may someday sit in the shade of the tree, but you may not. You just hope that what you share with them today, takes root and grows.
    I think the tracks are rabbit.
    It looks like a nice morning with your cutie-pies.

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  3. Oh god, I know this frustration. Know it far too well. But what you gained from the experience is a powerful reminder to us all, especially those with wee ones: But I saw another perspective, got a stern reminder that my eyes are by no means the only eyes.

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